Sunday, July 26, 2009

new plans as emailed to a friend...

Did your parents move to Miami? I think you mentioned that before but it is only now sinking in. My mother is moving to Australia and my father to Holland. It all seems so fruitless and eratic. I've left too many strings untied in the states and also feel that I am totally out of place here as beer is the number one beverage. I don´t know. I should go to some muslim country where alcohol is forbidden along with women (those inferiors) reading the koran. lol. I can´t win. But I think my mission in life is to have absurd observations and to write about them. Maybe it matters to other people but it will definitely even my thinking out. I can only live a normal life as long as I am recording my abnormal thoughts. When the two worlds interact (as they have been doing lately) then...well, it's just a complete disaster. I recently called Hannah Montana the anti-christ. I think that's a good example of something that belongs in a humorous essay, and not something to say after dinner. This compartmentalization is important for someone like me since I do have thoughts that don't fit in normal society. But you already knew that.

So I want to drive to Los Angeles and sell my van and buy a motorcycle and drive across the country to see my mother before she leaves. Then take some time in Canada or Maine or maybe Nova Scotia watching the leaves change. That sounds normal, right? I guess there will be some work in there and hopefully some writing. I´m not sure. I will be lucky if I make it to San Diego or even the next town north. One thing at a time.

SO you may be thinking too far in advance with moving in with your girlfriend and all that. Who can predict anything? But I´d say moving in with someone because it is the next logical step isn´t right. "That ain´t right." I don´t know if living alone is better than living with someone for the wrong reasons but I know I´m more lonely when I´m with someone I´m not comfortable around than I am when I am alone. Although, lately, I´m not even comfortable around myself. and it is hard to get away from me...except by writing about it. Then I'm happy I'm a little nuts.

I want to get some new books to read. I´ve been reading George Orwell´s essays. What have you been reading? Seen any crappy Adam Sandler movies lately? Or did someone finally assassinate him according to prophecy.

I saw some ants crawling in a line to get at some food compost in a bag. But the
bag was full and I went to bury it and when I came back all the ants were a
ittle confused and disapointed. THey were returning empty handed from
a place
where there had been so much food. I could see they disapointment and thought
you might understand.
so it was 1998 and I was 28? or 27? Something like that. But the problem is that
ven when I was 17 and 18 I was not much different. I didn´t drink or do drugs
or chat up girls or anything. I just wandered the country and read books by jack
erouac and Herman Hesse. So it wasn´t that I was was I was always a bit
different. That´s why I went to HSU. It was good there though I am actually in
much better health now than then. I remember trying to walk to the donut store
at midnight and having a back spasm on the bridge near C street. I kept going
very slowly, like an old man and I had another back spasm. I really wanted that
fucking buttermilk bar so I held onto the chain link fence and sort of limped
inch by inch in the direction of the donut store. Then I had the worst back
spasm yet and fell down. And it took so long to get up that I figured the donut
store had closed so I had to turn around and limp back to the c street house to
eat frozen sausages and cereal. That was a low point. I guess I was like the
Now I am healthy and have no back spasms. I guess it is because my computer is
broken and I have no internet access so I do other things. the computer really
fucked my back up. Sitting for long periods of time is not possible anymore.
I am worried about crazy D. the last email I got ended with "I am the fatest I
have ever been." that sounds like a dark place she is in now that she finished
her credential and is looking for work. she doesn´t sound like she enjoys the
job at all and teaching is a job that you really have to enjoy. what can we do
to help?


Anonymous said...

Nick posted pix of your '89 HS reunion, and I can assure you that if you had showed up, you would have been the star of the show...Imagine the biggest crop of wannabes and never-weres in one room, all begging to look at someone actually living the life they wanted to...But, you continue to just be a ghost story told to frighten their 2 1/2 children.

Danny Flannagan said...

Meg called me from the Reunion and passed the phone around! When It got back to her I screamed "Do Not Pass the Phone!". What should I say to James Alanady? Judging from the picture, it was a depressing affair. In fact, I am a bit depressed thinking about it...

eddie seacoast said...

it must be just like spring break down there all the time...haha. just kidding.

Yo Mama said...

It was a depressing affair? Tell that to Dave Bolko who was there. Tell that to Brad Kohorst who came from Minnesota for it. Trust me, the best thing that happened to that reunion was you being 4,000 miles away you Ass Clown.

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