Saturday, October 17, 2009

quebec city



the border guards must still be scratching their heads...a guy drives all the way from the number one exporter of cheap drugs (mexico) to the opposite corner of Canada and all he is bringing is a mexican foot fetish magazine? That defies all logic. Pierre, go ask him what he is doing here again.

"He says he is going to run with the arctic wolf."
"Que?"
"The wolf. HE wants to run with the wolves."
"And he carries no drugs?"
"Non."
search the vehicle again.
so they dig and dig.
the ultimate came when they found my spare vehicle key. they really had to dig for that key. but it was inside the car. Pierre showed it to me.
"What is this?"
he wants me to freak out. they had found the key that unlocks the drug stash. no.
"That is my ignition key. it is an extra in case I lose the other."
"But, pardon me for asking, it is inside the vehicle. why?"
I shrugged.
"Because the windows are easily opened. If I lose the key I can get into the van but then I find the key and I can start it."
Pierre blinked so I added with a smile. "But that's just between me and you. Our little secret." I wink.
He doesn't know what to do. The absurdity defies his border guard mentality. it isn't possible that there are people like me out there who are so outside the law that they don't even break it. He is probably praying that the dog will find drugs. they might even let me go just because I will fit some classification. but as it is he returns the key to my door. no drugs. some mexican porn. some granola. a moldy cucumber. dancing with wolves. my insane 1977 polyester grandpa pants. the beard. we should kill him now.
but they are nice.
"you will like Labrador. No I have never been there. no one goes to labrador unless they are in the military and training for arctic warfare."

Now, in part two I will describe how I was adopted by a junk yard owner named Monsiour Lachance and brought to see the light of God and eating dinner with his 4 daughters and 2 sons. we read Corinthians and some of Acts II. in french. it was quite an experience. I read Mathew. The part that stands out is when they got a minister on the phone who asked me where I was going when I died and I said "I don't know where I'm going when I wake up."
he didn't know what to say so I added,

"Have you read the Illiad and the Odyssey? Because there is this god named Athena and Zeus. And they take the form of people. Are you Athena in the form of a christian minister? Come on. Be honest."
that killed the conversation.

all for now.
quebec city is special.
here's a pic from Franconia notch.
Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.