Monday, April 5, 2010

Twitter Comment Shocks Mongolian Village, Residents Voice Concerns

Here's an example of when a good news spoof goes awry. I'm too tired to improve it after several consecutive days of "working". After hiking Mt. Major my knee is completely blown out. Finished. And coming down to Boston area to tend to some mold on a deck has me sleeping less than my doctor recommended 10 hours a day. I'm so grumpy!

I now own two tennis rackets so anyone who wants to plays some tennis is welcome to accept my challenge at the mill pond tennis courts when I return to ports. I will play anytime the lights are on. OR racquetball. Or basketball. Competitive sports are my kind of thing. Yoga just seemed so pointless. Like, at the end of it you don't really know what you just did. In tennis I can break the racket or swing two handed and hit the ball over the fence. Or yell, "That wasn't out. No! That was IN!" It's exciting and fun and emotional! Or basketball, so much fun to play. Win or lose. But I need some competition so get your sneakers out of storage and meet me down there. So, my time to write and energy to write slowly fade when the work takes over. Did I miss a day of posting? I think so. I promised myself that I would post something every day but now I see how that's only possible if you are a shiftless lay about like I was last week.

Hovd, Mongolia
April 3, 2010

Ramundi Zezesifa was appalled to learn Monday that Cleveland resident Hamilton Macintosh ordered a Dominos pizza that did not arrive at his house in under half an hour.

“We live in a modern age,” said the 34 year old Zezesifa from the shelter of his mud and rock hut. “The lack of response by Dominos is unacceptable. Where is the accountability?”

Zezesifa laid aside the goat hide he was scraping to tend to the smoldering fire that kept the temperature inside the hut above freezing. He kneeled down and blew on the glowing ashes until a small flame appeared. Then he added sticks to the fire.

“What bothers me most,” said Zezesifa as he sat back down on a wood log. “is how this will create a ripple effect. The reputation of Dominos is on the line. They already changed their pizza recipe, and now they’re losing customer confidence with tardy deliveries. What’s next?”

Other villagers were equally disturbed by the news and gathered in a canvas yurt.

“We can’t rest until we find an answer,” said the elder statesman of the village. “Where have we failed? We recycle. We grow only organic grains. We have curbed our calorie and salt intake. It is our responsibility to seek the root cause of this negligent delivery of this pizza. Let us pray.”

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.