Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Here's my latest cover letter for a journalist job. If there's any confusion why I don't get these gigs you should see why in a few moments. I gotta write my review of Revolver since I now own it. It's not great but it's not bad enough to blacklist. Come on. The Hangover was atrocious and they're making a sequel. Revolver was just over budget and misled. The Kabbalah stuff wasn't that important. Anyway,

I'm interested in writing articles for you. Since you didn't volunteer any compensation I'm assuming it's in the six figure range. That's good because since I've taken time off to work on my novel (misunderstood youth learns valuable lessons from disfigured janitor) my savings has dwindled. I make music videos and documentaries when I'm not at the computer or on the street corner singing for spare change. I write human interest stories and either write very opinionated essays about frivolous subjects or else objective articles about controversial subjects. The articles I'd like to write this summer are as follows:
1. Little League Baseball up close. What baseball means to an 8 year old. Motivations and expectations.
2. Trivial Walking Tour of Portsmouth with illustrations. Ex. Popovers was once Sessions Music store where they sold Bruce Springsteen Born in the USA Tour tickets.
3. Medical Marijuana: Is paranoia a good substitute for Anxiety?
4. Prescott Park summer theater dynamics. Lawn chair controversy set to explode.
5. Theater Reviews
6. Going undercover in Strawbery Banke. Is it authentic?
7. Making money from making music. Fantasy or Reality

Those are off the top of my head and I've got other ideas too good to share without a non-disclosure agreement. Tell me a bit about yourself. What media are you publishing the content? Are you independent? Readership? Define "Good Grammar".

Here's an article I wrote when I was a Hollywood Insider. It was published by a magazine that folded so this is the only place you'll read it now. If you think this fits your model then make me an offer.

Guy Ritchie Gets Religion
Oggy Bleacher investigates Kabbalah: The con of all cons


ed said...

the hangover was great and you know it! cant wait for the sequel!! "It's not called a man purse...it's a satchel...and Indian Jones wears one."

Oggy Bleacher said...

It wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now. Just lame humor from writers who couldn't land a staff writing gig on Friends back in 1996, but who proceeded to watch every single episode. That's all this shitty movie is: a 90 minute Friends episode with some raunchy jokes thrown in. Awful.

Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.