Thursday, September 29, 2011

Would You Let This Man Enter Your Country?

Mama didn't pick me out the best "border crossing" clothes for today. And I guess I had gotten so used to wearing the mushroom cloud t-shirt that I didn't think to change it. The guard mostly cast suspicion on the 239 PU + 238 U equating a mushroom cloud. I didn't get into a debate on this topic but casual research reveals it to be basically true. At least for a T-shirt.
"Most modern nuclear weapons utilize 238U as a "tamper" material (see nuclear weapon design). A tamper which surrounds a fissile core works to reflect neutrons and to add inertia to the compression of the Pu-239 charge. "

But, you know, fuck it. If America stands for anything it is wearing a mushroom cloud on your chest and red, white, and blue suspenders and you got Abe Lincoln in your pocket (like every politician) and I'm not going to be like every other toady who tries to clean up so he doesn't offend the guards. No matter what I wear they're going to go through all my shit. So what is the point? I could wear my Bin Laden headband or a "Reagan for President" Pin and it doesn't matter. I've got LIVE FREE OR DIE on my van, for god's sake. I'm not harmless but I'm not a threat least not in any way that Nathaniel Hale or Paul Revere would disapprove of. Hell, the USA is home of the asshole with a gold-plated opinion and I'm no exception.
After hearing my opinion of Apple Corp. the border guard asked if I thought Steve Jobs was the Anti-christ I said, "No, but Hannah Montana is...and let me tell you why."
I think that was part of the reason Canada denied me entry last year. I went through the same crossing where that pretty Canadian officer was working who tossed me out of the country but she wasn't working this afternoon. Should I wait to say hello and give her roses? hahahaha

The jury is still out on the present condition of America. Since I'm back on American soil I've got
to be extra careful not to get injured because health care is still unresolved.
"What do you do for a living, Mr Bleacher?"
"I'm looking for work in the mushroom cloud industry."
"You've come to the right place. Welcome to America."


Anonymous said...

I have work for you.....

Oggy Bleacher said...

My van doesn't have ball joints. It uses a wheel spindle and kingpin. But that doesn't mean I won't teach myself about ball joints using your truck. Let's hang out and fix motorcycles.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.