Sunday, October 30, 2011

Old School

Dravid from Franconia walked 7 miles to pick potatoes for $1 a day back in 1930 and 81 years later he's walking across Greenland Avenue when there is no electricity, dodging cars to get his paper (yes, he walks to get his paper probably because he knows home delivery is an abomination). This is part of my project to record authentic New England Accents. He's 87 years old. He said his family came from Poland and can speak Polish and German so maybe his accent wouldn't be what I wanted but I think it is. You be the judge.
When I talk about working for old people this is the person I'm talking about. Worked his whole life, fought in WWII, starved in the depression, never conned no one, never made much money, etc, will die with nothing. Now I open this fucking Inc. Magazine AND I'LL START SCREAMING NOW BECAUSE THE TOP ARTICLE IS "HOW TO ACE SOCIAL MEDIA...AND WHY LINDAY LOHAN CAN HELP, FOR A PRICE." AND THIS SKINNY JUNKIE CUNT CHARGES $2,353 TO TWEET VAPID MANUFACTURED COMMENTS TO HER 2.5 MILLION FOLLOWERS. AND COMPANIES PAY HER! And I feel that Inc Magazine is an accomplice in some kind of horrible decay of America by narcissistic-ally promoting a narcissistic junkie promoter...and the entire magazine "The magazine for growing companies" is really an outlet of advertising of advertisers who believe they can mask their own vapidity with beautiful photography and graphs when THE MAIN ARTICLE IS ABOUT A CEO OF A COMPANY CALLED "INFOSURV' A MARKET RESEARCH COMPANY THAT BASICALLY ANNOYS PEOPLE WITH QUESTIONS LIKE "WAS YOUR HAMBURGER GOOD?" This entire magazine has absolutely no substance and by association America has no substance..."How I started a million dollar business with yard sale furniture" translates to "How I exploited the absence of authentic culture in Los Angeles." I plan a future article where I analyze every article in this magazine but it's a little hard to do living in my van and shoveling snow off my forehead in the morning.
Oh, I want to get down on my knees and apologize to Dravid for turning his potato paradise into a playground for Junkie Lohan and Ho-bag Hilton. WE FUCKED UP> WE ARE WRONG>PLEASE LET ME RAKE YOUR LAWN FOR FREE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!


Julie said...

A lovely segment. I could spend the whole day listening to him.

Oggy Bleacher said...

I'm out of practice and talked too much.

Creative Commons License
Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.