Thursday, April 5, 2012


I'm the asshole for riding my 1974 Vespa Ciao to my IRS job, Missouri folk yelling at me from their V8 trucks pulling empty landscaping trailers as you try to cut me off and I swerve into traffic to avoid you and you try to hit me with your truck door. "IDIOT!" Yeah, I'm the idiot you fucking cunt who gets 8 mpg as I have eggs and milk tied in a basket balanced on my head and a bag of flour lashed to the handlebars and bananas and diced dates bouncing around in the cooler I have as my rear rack. I'm the idiot because Illinois is $123 billion in debt. Yeah, what a fucking asshole I am for trying to live by my own standards, one person with one cylinder in a city congested with hate and fuel runoff into the Mississippi. Go to hell you proper punk asshole and may you end up living in Los Angeles where absolutely no one walks or rides bicycles or mopeds and everyone drives alone in a huge V8 truck with empty trailers and it takes 45 minutes to go three blocks. That's your idea of paradise and I pray that you find it you fucking cunt.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.