Friday, May 11, 2012


There's no need to listen to this rant because I'm a hypocrite who lives in a van while espousing environmental sensitivity. The only way to embrace my beliefs completely would be to move to the mountains and live on a sustance farm while the 313 million Americans obliterate the environment. Defending myself is not allowed in the definition of most couch potatoes parroting the beliefs of Rush Limbaugh. I must die meekly and silently or else shut up. It's a nifty bit of ugly double standards set up to allow everyone guilt free access to the remote controls that build the plaque on their arteries. Oggy should die like the Kickapoo who signed treaties and then curled up with blankets infected with smallpox. "If they were real Indians, they would've hid in the river using bamboo to breath." I guess is the conclusion. And Oggy must sit down on the boarwalk and preach to passerbys with messages written in biodegradable chalk so everyone can ignore him...or else he is a hypocrite and can be completely principle rather than merely ignored by habit. Yeah, I figured this all out on my own because I'm pretty slow and I need painters and muscle men to point out philosophical trickery to me. But eventually I catch up.

Anyway, somebody was selling gun range targets of a figure in a hooded sweatshirt like that kid who got killed in Florida. Gun range fans have to shoot something so when you run out of Osama Bin Laden targets or Democrat Donkeys then you could load this on the line and shoot it with your glock. It's not much different from my habit of using the 1978 Yankee team photo as a practice target for darts in 1984.

Unrelated note: There have been multiple gangs in The Lou who punch people randomly to see if they can knock the person out. Kids these days. So wacky! It's hard to keep myself from drifting into a Dirty Harry vigilante moment. When you literally can not walk to the store without being shot and killed or you walk home and get punched in the head by a gang of kids and the police can't possibly protect you but might find the person responsible for shooting you or punching you (so your murder will at least be solved)...then what's a person supposed to do except get a pit bull or a Glock 9 and wear a sign around their neck that says, "Fuck with me and you die."
And if that's the direction we're heading (and everything suggests that it is) then where is the iPad application that makes the street safer? Believe me, when I meet a group of 4 black kids on the sidewalk with their pants around their asses my first thought is not if they'd be up for a game of basketball. Sorry, if I lived under a rock I might be so naive but this is my argument that when one person fucks up then he makes it bad for everyone. I try to pick up trash, entertain old folks spread the message of peace because that might rehabilitate the image of men living in vans. Hahah. But that's the same situation groups of kids in The Lou have. They might be innocent, but I can't help but profile them because they fit the profile of a bunch of punks who randomly beat the shit of pedestrians. And a guy living in a van fits the profile of a pervert good for nothing. sucks, but it's true. The world just becomes one misdirected stereotype after another.
But, my point is that Ragu and Nissan already exploited/capitalized the fuck out of the Trayvon Martin case. Every CNN video on this topic is preceded by a very expensive Pasta Sauce ad and/or a car commercial or something telling you to buy some overpriced coffee milkshake. There is absolutely no difference between Ragu and the dude trying to sell his gun targets...but that's the opinion of a confessed hypocrite so you can dismiss it and return to your Ragu sponsored massacre. And don't forget to get offended by a dude selling gun targets because he's the real problem.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.