Friday, December 28, 2012

Elemental Failure

Can you see the problem?
My education in HVAC continues in the worst way possible. 50+ years after this Eisenhower era heating unit was installed I arrive and it immediately breaks. Not pictured is the shower of sparks that occurred when I tried to stretch the coil to fit again and caused mayhem. Three of the four elements are toast. It looks like a $10 part and probably was in 1965. Today, I'm literally going to have to start my own reality show in order to hunt this part down. For those Russians searching my blog to spam me with worthless Gucci perfume ads THE LEAST YOU CAN DO is hunt through your soviet scrap heaps for something similar and mail it to me. This is a Sears Air Handler and the sears Service techs laughed at me when I read them the part number. 493.58703. They were like, "Where are the other five numbers?....Oh, you mean it's from 1957 and you want replacement parts? Do I sound like an antique dealer?"

I'm angry because I almost electrocuted myself and no service place will help and they will all come here for $100 to laugh at me and tell me I need to replace the whole unit...which any idiot could tell me but I need to know how to repair it. And in a perfect world this part would still exist but I had to move into the only unimproved house in all of Texas so they still have original heating system. The old man is freezing, can't afford a pair of socks, and I know I'm the only who can fix this but it's actually not fixable in this decade. It would be easier to build a time machines and return to 1970 to buy the parts...but I know I'd get sidetracked trying to track down my mother to get her drunk so maybe she would miscarry me and I could avoid these petty problems.....But really it's merely a fancy space heater with five of these coils mounted on top of a fan. Real high tech. The coils get 240v and glow red hot while the fan blows. Then a family of rats climb in there to get warm and their claws break the coils and Oggy is left to repair it. I'm out of options right now. No parts dealer in Texas has even seen this part. I can't solder it because the solder will melt when it turns on. The only thing I can do is stretch it fit again. Or, since I have two working elements, I'll use those two. fuck it.

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.