Monday, April 8, 2013

High Acid Levels

It took two queens and several mulligans but I beat level 5.

It looks easy but on top of a broken front bearing, bad breath, disassembled transmission, worn headers, rusted exhaust, nails in the inner tubes and a flawed charge regulator on my ipod motherboard I also had battery acid rain down on me the day I got my van running again. Because I don't have enough problems. Some genius (not me) had a battery box for the secondary battery that operates my microwave oven and satellite dish but then drilled holes in the bottom of it so they could mount it to the roof of the cab. That's fine if the battery is sealed but those cost big coin so this battery was all kinds of leaking as the bumpy roads had it overflowing. And when it leaked it flowed through the holes in the box and onto the metal...

straps and braces

And as soon as I started driving the van all this chalk and acid rains down on me through a bolt hole. All the paint under the battery box has dissolved and the metal is starting to decay too. That would be an awesome surprise to have a battery land on my head at 70mph. So me and Cow Milk Blues dedicated Saturday Afternoon to re-engineering this secondary battery system. That meant aluminum angle brackets as a brace in the front and the back, a new battery box from Walmart's eco-friendly department, a strap from tractor supply and two D rings bolted on either side of the newly painted box area, and a variety of stainless steel bolts I kept from my last solar panel installation job. Now it's not going anywhere and it can leak all it wants because the box is acid proof. "If only kids would learn to do things right the first time," I can hear my Grandfather's voice in my withered mouth.
Of course the last battery box was a perfect place to stash my pot when I drove through Mexican checkpoints. This box is the perfect size for the battery with no room for drugs. Damn!

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.