Having Fun With Oggy's Money

I got a call from an automated operator and I almost hung up because I thought it was Citizens Bank calling me to collect their $1.75 that predatory fines turned into $150. But it was a fraud prevention and I made some purchases recently to improve my tool belt and midi capacities in my effort to create backing tracks and fakebook lead sheets for Western Swing gems like "I'm gonna hire a wino" and "I never go around mirrors". My priorities changed real fast.



So I call and a part of me almost thought it was a phishing scam to get me to call to pretend they are protecting me and really they are taking my info to use...and I finally got to an operator and she asked me if I'd made a purchase for $130 and I said that sounded close but it was a little less and it was from Amazon.
"No, Mr. Bleacher, this is a florist..."
"A florist?"
"Yes. Did you authorize that purchase?"
"Absotively, posolutely NOT."

I hopped on the computer and dialed up my bank statement and saw that someone had been having a grand time for the last two days with my checking account...and it wasn't for electrical tools or midi keyboards. No, they bought about $400 worth of premium remote control car parts from Desoto Serpent parts in Florida. And they apparently sent someone they loved a $130 bouquet of flowers. And since their miniature car was running so good with the chrome mag wheels or whatever, they bought some photos from B&H photo...and then went hog wild at Sears.com to the tune of $313.98...probably a washer and dryer set cause you know how those are good to replace as soon as you steal someone's checking account number. When are you going to have another chance at free appliances?

They're dumb of course because I'm going to call Desoto Serpent tomorrow in Florida and inquire what I bought and what my name and mailing address and phone number is. That'll be a surprise because the person is such an idiot that they bought property with my checking account but then had it mailed to their house. And I can send them black roses in the mail too.

In the meantime I get to spend my Saturday driving nearly to Mexico to get a new checking card and while I'm there I'll get some side zip boots. Right when I thought I'd seen it all I'm a victim of identity theft. Classic.

The lesson here is to use your credit card online and not your visa check card because credit cards are easy to dispute and any fraud is not deducted from your account until you pay it. With a debit card, fraud is actually sucking money directly from my bread basket.