Graffiti

Those are real bricks

"If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding."

Moped Porn

1974 Vespa Ciao and Popocatepetl

Vespa Ciao with Popo and Itza

Dia De Muertos

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Man Ventures Into New Territory...Then He Found This...

CAREFULLY remove plastic bushing

One cool thing about extended battles with 40 year old moped fuel delivery systems is that I've had to go into areas I've never gone. The plastic intake bushing/shim that is pressed into my Sha Dell'Orto 12/10 carb is an example. This bushing fits over the intake and then I tighten it down and that creates a seal. Well, it isn't sealing and research tells me this isn't uncommon. People use aluminum cans as additional shims and I realized that my carb rebuild kit came with an o-ring that I could put into the hole if I could get the shim out.

Cylinder Gasket Falls Apart...And Then This Happened

This is what's left of the Cylinder/Base gasket

At this point I don't think anything I do will permanently fix these problems. I need a new piston and a new carburetor. This ruined gasket fits between the crankcase and the cylinder. There is no head gasket in 65cc Ciaos. I don't know if the lack of this gasket was causing my problems and I'm not even sure I made anything better by cutting my own since the material isn't the same. I gotta put something there. But the other problem is the bushing on the carburetor isn't sealing completely. It's worn out and I'm not going to silicone the intake. It has to be replaced. No doubt. So many things to fix. It's all bullshit.

Man Works on Moped...You Won't Believe What Happened Next.

I laugh mirthlessly, like a convicted sex offender, when I write titles like that because I imagine what kind of asshole I would be if I were serious. As big an asshole as Beej Rudd? The psuedo-news factoid is almost taking over the internet. Am I the only person who has noticed that? If you walked up to me on the street, said, "Hello, Oggy, you want to know what happened when a guy jumped in a lion cage?" I would have a strong urge to punch you in the mouth. If I wanted to know shit like that I'd subscribe to www.Iamanasshole.com.

From The Dose

But on the Internet these kinds of frivolous remotely useless anecdotes basically litter the landscape, just waiting for your aunt to forward you the link, and since the enslaved Thai midwife who is chained to a computer and is forced to generate titillating titles must write something or else starve, they use the Enquirer "Bat Boy' method to titillate the Bangkok word pimps . Maybe they get half a cent every time someone clicks on their link. And if you buy a pair of shoes after going to that ad sponsored web site they might get $4 (as long as you don't clear all your cookies before purchasing). So they make $5 a day on that ad. Volume is everything and it angers me to the point of higher blood pressure, self-loathing angst, arthritic back pain, spine crushing pathology.

I wake up, work on the moped for 8 hours, eat, repeat.

You will believe what happened next. Yes, you will not be surprised. I lied about that part. Nothing about my experiences with my moped will shock you. I wrote that to intrigue you, but I'm actually full of shit. I work on my moped. It's 40 years old. I think the condenser has failed because when the engine heats up I lose all power. It will idle roughly but any throttle at all kills the engine. I know there is fuel in the float because I check it every time I take it off. It sounds like it has leaned out or is starved, but the condenser is also implicated in these kinds of problems. And I know there is an air leak between the carb and the manifold but that's been there for 6 years. Is that so fucking shocking? It shouldn't be. 40 fucking years this moped has been beat down hard. You know I bought it in pieces the same time I bought the van and all three of us have been up and down, cried some hard tears, been real close to the edge a number of times, looked in the mirror and didn't like what we saw. Oh, yes. The moped gets me around, I go to the gym and exercise my back because if I don't then I can't get out of bed. But I don't want to walk 40 minutes to get to the gym. Maybe that makes me an asshole, that I ride a moped to the gym. But that's my situation. Believe it. So I have to keep the moped running or else it's a huge fucking paperweight I carry around in the van waiting for some magical Italian mechanic to appear with the right parts. In fact, all I do is go to the gym and fix the moped. 8 hours on the moped, 2 hours at the gym. It's pretty fucking funny.

I like Torquoise, but this is blue clay. A chick would wear this, but not Oggy. Anyone want a homemade blue clay belt buckle?

Gearbox Gasket Failed And Then This Happened...

Paper thin gearbox gasket

 This 1974 Vespa Ciao pitiful 40 year old gearbox gasket finally started to leak no matter how tight I torqued the bolts holding on the gearbox cover. That's 90W gear oil in there and it would gradually creep into that little opening by the brake lever and the oil would ruin my rear brake shoe. Then I'd clean it off and dry it out and a few weeks later it would be oily again. Eventually all the oil would run out and then the gearbox would be dry which is even worse than having no rear brake.

Gearbox is singular in my case.

I grew tired of this cycle of brakeless motoring so I dove in and recut the gasket with my own heavy duty head gasket felt and put some gasket sealer in there and bolted it back together and rebuilt the carb while I was getting dirty.

Oggy, living a real romantic life

A 17 year old student chased me down on the street wanting to buy my Ciao and I just shook my head. He said his family is from Italy and I said he'd be better off saving his money and going to Italy to buy one because this moped demands more work than most people can give to it. Keeping this moped running with no access to parts, abusive rock roads and lack of any suspension is a full time job. But if this moped were a motorcycle I would've died long ago because the roads have no lights and a huge speedbump or pothole will suddenly appear, or a dog, or a bus with no lights. The moped doesn't go fast enough to be a threat. I'm really hoping this project solves something so I can move on to the next project.

*My post titles are now tributes to the modern trend of reporting news like movie spoilers.

Home Improvement

This is as good as I can do.

Home: I'm thinking about investing in a good mattress.

The van is running good but now that I really need the moped to run it is having problems. The 1974 Vespa Ciao is 40 years old now but I think the problems are routine...total loss of power, fuel leaks...fouled plug...These are related to timing. I bought the van and the moped back in 2008 and spent a few months getting the moped running as I could only work on it in parks and on the sidewalk between sleeping winos. I last touched the antiquated points ignition system in 2008. Isn't that remarkably reliable? 6 years without even checking the points gap and it's been in three countries. Well, the time has come and I'll be happy if that's the problem. First the carburetor on the van develops a vacuum leak and requires a rebuild, which was the first maintenance I did on the carb in 6 years and now the moped is running rough. My right shoulder also feels like Hulk Hogan has been kicking it. Age, sagging fat, flabby ass, wrinkles on my hand, strange growths of flesh on my leg; life quietly becoming a cycle of maintenance. Sure, you could point out that I own vehicles that belong in a museum...and I won't argue.

Note: 10 hours of messing with the moped and I got some results. The timing was an issue since the points were opening about .1mm instead of .5mm.
Also, why didn't anyone tell me that some modern carb cleaner can not be used in the same fashion as starting fluid? It takes a while for news to get to Old Oggy and I only learned today that store brand carb cleaner, even in Mexico, is not flammable since idiots were probably spraying their carb while the engine was running and starting fires. So here is Oggy spraying inside the air filter with non flammable carb cleaner, thinking it's flammable...and then scratching his bum because the thing won't start or immediately dies. I spent hours hunting for the reason non-flammable carb cleaner wasn't getting my engine to start. I don't recommend spraying carb cleaner directly into a carb on a running engine but technically it won't backfire into a ball of flame as long as it is the non-flammable type. Now I definitely warn against using non-flammable carb cleaner as a substitute for starting fluid unless you are applying for a PhD in futility. The real kick in the ass is that I have a can of starting fluid in the van but assumed they were interchangeable. Damn! But after the timing was fixed and the carb was cleaned and I rubbed magic dust on my balls the moped ran like a wild horse. In fact, I took it out for a test drive and it didn't stop until I was way up on a hill next to a tacos al pastor vendor. I was lost, but I was found. 3 fouled spark plugs and frustration levels were high. Please let it be fixed!

Further note: yes, the moped is basically fixed. The fuel leak is because the gaskets are old and the inlet float needle tip is worn and general deterioration. But the important thing was the performance and I can say it has never been better. I was afraid the cylinder had worn out but it was the damn timing/points gap that was to blame. This moped is the best! On further investigation my carb cleaner is indeed flammable, so I think it kills the engine because it enriches the mixture too much for a two stroke. It's running good. That's all that matters.

Dog Sits on Moped

The moped has been giving me headaches lately due to 4 year old spark plug and 2 year old gas mixed with diesel and 2 stroke oil. I finally got it sorted out with the help of this Australian dog named Chupacabra. She's almost as needy and codependent as I am.

Moped man

The idea is to have a moped that will run and so the man in the van can be just like Batman and when his van finally bites the dust or gets shot with a bazooka then he can just get on his moped and ride away. He may even modify the van's driver's seat so he can ride the moped and just as the van dies he can engage a special catapult that will whip him forward and start the moped and off he goes!~