Occupy Wall Street

The Revolution won't be televised because media outlets will not cover it in favor of gossip and tabloid and cooking shows. Or shows where obese women lose weight and cheer and cry on industrial scales. But in case you haven't heard it the real heroes are laying it on the line in NYC. They have no financial backing, no flag, no support, they are villainized and marginalized and called dirty names and beaten by the officers who swore to protect them from the very thieves who now call the shots in Washington. But they are there with no weapons and body armor or gas masks to protect them. It doesn't take courage to get in a humvee and shoot peasants but it takes a pair of brass balls to camp on wall street with no food or money, most citizens indifferent of hostile to your cause, and still speak truth to power. Yeah, they are vague and unarmed but it's the Hipster Revolution so you'll get reusable coffee mugs and hybrid cars rather than specific demands.

Let's simply say that if Fox Media was around in 1775 the big news of the day would've been the people buried in an avalanche for 37 days in Italy...and Mozart cheated on his wife. Patrick Henry, Paul Revere, and some hippie named George Washington would've been ignored because ratings might go down...and now a word from our sponsor...."Is your pewter tea pot dull and dirty? Brighten it up with 'Tarnish-B-Gone! Another Excellent Product from the British Empire!"

But with the new 3D smurfs movie coming out I'm sure there are better things to think about.

http://www.democracynow.org/2011/9/30/inside_occupy_wall_st_a_tour

Work and Love Problem Solved at Once

Part-time Cashier for Adult Retail Store (Portsmouth)

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Date: 2011-09-27, 9:01PM EDT
Reply to: job-qfjcw-2621083862@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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We are looking for a part time cashier. We only have 2 four hour shifts available at this time so will only consider employed individuals. Reliable transportation a must.
Apply in person only to The Fifth Wheel Adult Super Store, 851 US Rte 1 Bypass.

Would You Let This Man Enter Your Country?

Mama didn't pick me out the best "border crossing" clothes for today. And I guess I had gotten so used to wearing the mushroom cloud t-shirt that I didn't think to change it. The guard mostly cast suspicion on the 239 PU + 238 U equating a mushroom cloud. I didn't get into a debate on this topic but casual research reveals it to be basically true. At least for a T-shirt.

"Most modern nuclear weapons utilize ²³⁸U as a "tamper" material (see nuclear weapon design). A tamper which surrounds a fissile core works to reflect neutrons and to add inertia to the compression of the Pu-239 charge. "

But, you know, fuck it. If America stands for anything it is wearing a mushroom cloud on your chest and red, white, and blue suspenders and you got Abe Lincoln in your pocket (like every politician) and I'm not going to be like every other toady who tries to clean up so he doesn't offend the guards. No matter what I wear they're going to go through all my shit. So what is the point? I could wear my Bin Laden headband or a "Reagan for President" Pin and it doesn't matter. I've got LIVE FREE OR DIE on my van, for god's sake. I'm not harmless but I'm not a threat either...at least not in any way that Nathaniel Hale or Paul Revere would disapprove of. Hell, the USA is home of the asshole with a gold-plated opinion and I'm no exception.
After hearing my opinion of Apple Corp. the border guard asked if I thought Steve Jobs was the Anti-christ I said, "No, but Hannah Montana is...and let me tell you why."
I think that was part of the reason Canada denied me entry last year. I went through the same crossing where that pretty Canadian officer was working who tossed me out of the country but she wasn't working this afternoon. Should I wait to say hello and give her roses? hahahaha

The jury is still out on the present condition of America. Since I'm back on American soil I've got
to be extra careful not to get injured because health care is still unresolved.
"What do you do for a living, Mr Bleacher?"
"I'm looking for work in the mushroom cloud industry."
"You've come to the right place. Welcome to America."

Stagecoach

Here's an idea for Donny Landry's playhouse structures. A mail coach. Maybe that's already in his menu.

Jamboree

"If you could see me now.
The one who said that he would rather roam
the one who said he'd rather be alone
if you could only see me now."

I always get myself on stage with a guitar in hand and the faces of the audience dimly lit and my mind goes completely blank. What key is that song in? How do I form a D chord? It's not stage fright as much as lack of practice. When you go 15 months between performances, there isn't much chance to get used to being thrust from a freezing van in a strange town, dirty clothes, looming transmission problems, no job, no money, starving, onto a stage of Dick's Jamboree with Leroy and the Boys as a backup band and lots of white haired Canadian heads in front of you. Baffled expressions. They've never seen a man with this much hair wearing a cowboy hat.

"Good evening," I say. "My name is Oggy."
polite applause
"Thank you."
deadly silence.

I want the experience and yet I am surprised every time the applause stops and everyone expects me to perform. They have no idea and nor do they care that my very presence on the stage has been an insane performance. No, they want an encore and that's when my mind goes blank. I know songs? What are the lyrics? The chords? Christ, why am on this stage with a guitar? Do these people know I live in a 1969 van with a woodstove? Do they care I'm trying to save the arctic wolf?

That's when Merle Haggard comes to the rescue. All you need to know to get off an running is one chord. D. And one line: "We don't smoke Marijuana in Muskogee..."
That's my do or die "emergency song". And by the end of that line the audience was mine and I remembered what the hell I was doing. After the set I was signing autographs. "I absolutely loved your voice." which wasn't hard to believe after listening to the performers I followed who had Loretta Lynn and Charley Pride turning over in their graves.

I again cursed the lack of film crew that would enable me to really put on the Oggy show with bellbottoms and wolf slide show. I even wrote an alternate version of "Bangladesh" by George Harrison that would be perfect as a spoof song for these jamborees.
"Arctic wolf. arctic wolf
the climate is changing and his world will go poof
we're killing him for no reason our crime is a sin
don't let apple and hannah montana win!"

But no, I have to stick with real songs and have everyone shake my hand. The point is to get thrown out of the jamboree. That's what makes good drama but none of if would be on camera since I've asked a person politely to hold the camera for me and it's the first thing that would get dropped when I call everyone a wolf killer.
It's hopeless and I'm going to work at Jiffy Lube.
"How may I help you? Oil change? We've got a special on transmission flushes this week...synthetic oil? No problem."
I'll post those videos and watch my readership drop to zero. We get what we deserve.