Saturday, October 15, 2011
I'm Too Young To Marry
I'm cleaning house on some footage that doesn't really belong in the wolf quest video. Expect to see it in two years. "Little bee sucks the blossom, big bee gets the honey; Poor man picks the cotton, rich man gets the money." Me and the rhythm guitarist are locked in.
Cetology
"He lived in the world as the last of the Grisly Bears lived in settled Missouri. And as when Spring and Summer had departed, that wild Logan of the woods, burying himself in the hollow of a tree, lived out the winter there, sucking his own paws, so, in his inclement, howling old age, Ahab's soul, shut up in the caved trunk of his body, there fed upon the sullen paws of its gloom!"
My keyboard has trouble hitting that many commas because that was the key I had to repair in Labrador. This is some insane prose that Melville is slinging around. I took many things with me to Labrador and the one I looked forward to reading was Moby Dick, but in the final days of my departure the distractions and chaos proved too much and I tossed my copy of the book in with some clothes and songbooks that didn't make the cut. I deeply regretted this because nowhere on earth is as conducive to reading huge books than the remote dirt road dead ends of Labrador that I camped on overlooking ocean inlets and bays as the rain leaked through the windows and puddled around my van. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. So I read my book about North American Geology and looked forward to my reunion with this book of Ahab and the Whale. At once, Melville writes phrases that are beautiful but serve no purpose except to detail the phrase before it and then, just in case, he will write two or three similar phrases to emphasize the last two until you have pages of prose where almost nothing is accomplished. It's like a pretty woman who doesn't speak English.
Ex:
"For though their progenitors, the builders of Babel, must doubtless, by their tower have intended to rear the loftiest mast-head in all Asia or Africa either; yet (ere the final truck was put to it) as that great stone mast of theirs may be said to have gone by the board in the dread gale of God's wrath; therefore we cannot give these Babel builders priority of Egyptians. And that the Egyptians were a nation of mast-head standers, is an assertion based upon the general belief among archaeologists that the first pyramids were founded for astronomical purposes: a theory singularly supported by the peculiar stair-like formation of all four sides of those edifices; whereby, with prodigious long upliftings of their legs those old astronomers were wont to mount to the apex and sing out for the new stars; even as the look-outs of a modern ship sing out for a sail; or a whale just bearing in sight."
Melville's typewriter must've had a broken period key because few writers use so many commas and extended sentences. Either that or people must've had attention spans that were greater than the Harry Potter/Twilight era of "Harry Stopped. He was scared. Bella bit her lip, drawing blood. What would happen? The moon glowed in eternal longing. Blah blah blah."
Fortunately, at least half of the writing not only sounds unrelated to the plot, but it is unrelated. So if you fall asleep mid sentence that is no great crime.
My keyboard has trouble hitting that many commas because that was the key I had to repair in Labrador. This is some insane prose that Melville is slinging around. I took many things with me to Labrador and the one I looked forward to reading was Moby Dick, but in the final days of my departure the distractions and chaos proved too much and I tossed my copy of the book in with some clothes and songbooks that didn't make the cut. I deeply regretted this because nowhere on earth is as conducive to reading huge books than the remote dirt road dead ends of Labrador that I camped on overlooking ocean inlets and bays as the rain leaked through the windows and puddled around my van. Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. So I read my book about North American Geology and looked forward to my reunion with this book of Ahab and the Whale. At once, Melville writes phrases that are beautiful but serve no purpose except to detail the phrase before it and then, just in case, he will write two or three similar phrases to emphasize the last two until you have pages of prose where almost nothing is accomplished. It's like a pretty woman who doesn't speak English.
Ex:
"For though their progenitors, the builders of Babel, must doubtless, by their tower have intended to rear the loftiest mast-head in all Asia or Africa either; yet (ere the final truck was put to it) as that great stone mast of theirs may be said to have gone by the board in the dread gale of God's wrath; therefore we cannot give these Babel builders priority of Egyptians. And that the Egyptians were a nation of mast-head standers, is an assertion based upon the general belief among archaeologists that the first pyramids were founded for astronomical purposes: a theory singularly supported by the peculiar stair-like formation of all four sides of those edifices; whereby, with prodigious long upliftings of their legs those old astronomers were wont to mount to the apex and sing out for the new stars; even as the look-outs of a modern ship sing out for a sail; or a whale just bearing in sight."
Melville's typewriter must've had a broken period key because few writers use so many commas and extended sentences. Either that or people must've had attention spans that were greater than the Harry Potter/Twilight era of "Harry Stopped. He was scared. Bella bit her lip, drawing blood. What would happen? The moon glowed in eternal longing. Blah blah blah."
Fortunately, at least half of the writing not only sounds unrelated to the plot, but it is unrelated. So if you fall asleep mid sentence that is no great crime.
Save The Fetus... Starve The Baby
I think I found the source of my next song.
Craigslist Political Forum
Take Rush Limbaugh and John Stewart and remove their ability to spell or be funny or make a clear argument and you get the bulk of America.
Here's a classic exchange:
"We are marching for jobs today..."
"Wear comfortable shoes."
"Dem slogan:Inconvenient? Just kill it! § < RevoltToday > 10/15 09:15:51 "
Hahah
Peace out."
Why not bitch about the PEOPLE sitting on the sidelines getting handouts"
"Its true Obama is a [WallStreet] puppet § < RevoltToday > 10/15 09:12:37"
I think the revolution will take a form that no one can predict. It will not satisfy anyone including the protesters. I say again that you can not fix a poisoned well. Better to dig a better well far far away. Or at least don't drink from the well.
Craigslist Political Forum
Take Rush Limbaugh and John Stewart and remove their ability to spell or be funny or make a clear argument and you get the bulk of America.
Here's a classic exchange:
"We are marching for jobs today..."
"Wear comfortable shoes."
"Dem slogan:Inconvenient? Just kill it! § < RevoltToday > 10/15 09:15:51 "
Hahah
"J. Trigger is a lying, duplicitous cunt. < JohnBlutarski > 10/15 09:01:00
That is all. Peace out."
"The left wants to bitch about the rich < 7minuteabs > 10/15 09:15:06
sitting on the sidelines with their money. Why not bitch about the PEOPLE sitting on the sidelines getting handouts"
"Its true Obama is a [WallStreet] puppet § < RevoltToday > 10/15 09:12:37"
I think the revolution will take a form that no one can predict. It will not satisfy anyone including the protesters. I say again that you can not fix a poisoned well. Better to dig a better well far far away. Or at least don't drink from the well.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Small Victories
You all know that I'm defective. I can't do anything right and if I can do it right then there is no market for it. This is my first hooked rug. As part of my Fiber Arts Revival I want to learn to knit and crochet and hook rugs and another thing called punch pin which involves a $15 tool I can't afford and is basically embroidery made easy.
The lady who sold me the materials at the Freyburg Fair told me that if she tried to live on what she made she would get paid $1 an hour. There is no market for these things. The only way she can survive is by doing custom work and also by making kits to sell. See? She assembled all the materials I would need and sold it for $30. So she might make $20 per kit. Also, she honestly wants to spread the art and not be selfish. This is 100% wool. I think it came from skirts, scarfs, old wool suits, pants, hats, bags, military uniforms and also she vegetable dyed some of it to a custom color. I didn't think it would look good because as I was making it I could not see the outlines of the bird or the stars. But once I hooked in the violet background the bird came out. She intended me to use yellow for the moon and I said, "That'll be the sun. I want white because it's the moon." But now that I see it done I think the yellow is the right choice because in bad light the white is too muted. No, the moon is not yellow but the yellow pops out better. So I made one yellow star and one white star. The yellow thing on the left is supposed to be a leaf. That didn't come out right at all. And I could unravel it and hook in some more leaves on the ground but I'm lazy. When I saw my first hooked rug on Battle Harbour island I knew it was the right craft for me. It uses scrap burlap and scrap wool. I thought cotton would be fine but now that I feel the wool I know there is no substitute. It feels like something someone will admire in 100 years. It's not big enough to use as a rug but it's nice for a wall or a van. The next project is going to be dog portraits. And I have an idea for a one-eyed chicken but it takes time to accumulate a "pallet" of wool. Right now I have scraps. And no burlap.
She told me that if I was doing custom work I should accept $500 to $1000 for any project. This particular pumpkin piece would cost $70 but it's not for sale and it doesn't have to be. Order a kit yourself and order a hooking tool too. $40 and you are in biz. After that you regress back to 4th grade or summer camp and make art!
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| Secondary Colors Calm My Soul |
The lady who sold me the materials at the Freyburg Fair told me that if she tried to live on what she made she would get paid $1 an hour. There is no market for these things. The only way she can survive is by doing custom work and also by making kits to sell. See? She assembled all the materials I would need and sold it for $30. So she might make $20 per kit. Also, she honestly wants to spread the art and not be selfish. This is 100% wool. I think it came from skirts, scarfs, old wool suits, pants, hats, bags, military uniforms and also she vegetable dyed some of it to a custom color. I didn't think it would look good because as I was making it I could not see the outlines of the bird or the stars. But once I hooked in the violet background the bird came out. She intended me to use yellow for the moon and I said, "That'll be the sun. I want white because it's the moon." But now that I see it done I think the yellow is the right choice because in bad light the white is too muted. No, the moon is not yellow but the yellow pops out better. So I made one yellow star and one white star. The yellow thing on the left is supposed to be a leaf. That didn't come out right at all. And I could unravel it and hook in some more leaves on the ground but I'm lazy. When I saw my first hooked rug on Battle Harbour island I knew it was the right craft for me. It uses scrap burlap and scrap wool. I thought cotton would be fine but now that I feel the wool I know there is no substitute. It feels like something someone will admire in 100 years. It's not big enough to use as a rug but it's nice for a wall or a van. The next project is going to be dog portraits. And I have an idea for a one-eyed chicken but it takes time to accumulate a "pallet" of wool. Right now I have scraps. And no burlap.
She told me that if I was doing custom work I should accept $500 to $1000 for any project. This particular pumpkin piece would cost $70 but it's not for sale and it doesn't have to be. Order a kit yourself and order a hooking tool too. $40 and you are in biz. After that you regress back to 4th grade or summer camp and make art!
Laziness
I am sleeping in my helplessness hammock today. So I will take the lazy man's way out like the director of The King's Speech and include a German composer's piece of music to accompany an English king's speech announcing war against Germany. In Hollywood they say that if you can buy the rights to 5 good songs then you can fire the screenwriter. This isn't the best interpretation I've heard but it's a damn good film clip. They probably had to hide the ashtrays. Today, this orchestra would be half female.
Notes from the job front:
"We need a dishwasher that can turn into a salad position for the right person."
"In a commoditized broker/dealer world, we believe we offer a uniquely flexible and supportive structure that provides advisors, and their clients, the opportunity to optimize their success."
"A mid-sized commercial cleaning company is seeking a motivated, hard working, and BIG PICTURE proffesional." (Yes, they spelled professional wrong)
"Looking for a qualified activity professional to provide recreational programs on our dementia unit"
"I am looking for females who have a collection of heels, boots, and spikes who is looking to make additional money modeling their feet with their collection of shoes for photos."
"This guy will not pay you, he will tell you he needs to wait to get paid from another job before he can pay you when you should be paid on the job you have done...not one he is waiting to secure. HE IS A DEADBEAT!"
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