Saturday, June 16, 2012

Obama Declares June 18-25 "Get Your Shit Together" Week

"Quit whining about Japan and China and get your shit together!"
"I know the world is fucked up and a Zombie apocalypse is right around the corner, but the only thing we can do is keep our shit together or at the least get it together."
Obama continued, "Seriously, you sound like a bunch of assholes."

Obama may declare early July as "Don't Give Up So Soon, You Pussy" Week.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Stress

Since I've rejoined the Babylon Drone Brigade I've been under tremendous stress. I really don't know how people do it year after year after year. It must be the coffee or some innate delusion that fixing some stranger's plumbing or erecting a fence or sorting dirty trash or cutting out cancerous breast tissue has some larger meaning. How else could we all keep plodding on day after day in the grind? Maybe it's the collective contract we agree on that you contribute something to the greater good even if it is unclear what that might be or why money is involved. I guess we're just a dumb animal who survives because we are dumb. If we were any smarter we'd go crazy. Or maybe I'm just projecting my hectic existence on everyone else. You all jump through hoops involving psych tests, transmission failures, flesh eating bugs, crickets mating on your forehead, drunks passing out on the floor of the gypsy van that you live in and sunburns from sorting rocks in 108 degree blazing sun because Texas needs another bar-b-que restaurant. Right? Or is that just me?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Getting Your Shit Together

I was rapping to a worker as we drove to a job moving heavy furniture and he looked up to me as a wise old gypsy and I said, "It's a bad time not to have your shit together."

Monday, June 11, 2012

Magic Bus

I don't get tattoos and up until now I've avoided turning the outside of my van into a canvas. I used to wear my beard long and sport torn overalls to prove that I didn't care what people thought of my non-commercial image. Now I still don't care but I don't care so completely that I would rather people just not look at me at all. In fact, I'd be perfectly content on a deserted island with my imaginary friends as company.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Petition to End Gossip Mags

Trash


I am so repulsed that supermarkets still allow these magazines to be sold directly in the checkout aisle. I started this petition because I know people will rise up and help the cause. hahaha. I'm also thinking of ways to sabotage the gossip mag racks. Any ideas? All you facebook addicts could promote the petition and actually do something useful but that would mean beings something other than a disgusting pawn for Rupert Murdoch.


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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.