Having Fun With Oggy's Money

I got a call from an automated operator and I almost hung up because I thought it was Citizens Bank calling me to collect their $1.75 that predatory fines turned into $150. But it was a fraud prevention and I made some purchases recently to improve my tool belt and midi capacities in my effort to create backing tracks and fakebook lead sheets for Western Swing gems like "I'm gonna hire a wino" and "I never go around mirrors". My priorities changed real fast.

The Bright Future

"At the dump, the dogs are pushed into a pit, where their decomposing bodies are used to generate methane gas, which is then transformed into energy."


I'm sure someone in Japan is trying to figure out a way to use dead dogs to contain radiation. Good luck.

One of the dogs at the camp is pregnant so I'm researching options...
Like Bob Barker said, "Spade and Neuter your Pets."*

This reminds me of a conversation I overheard the other day where a 20 year old said he didn't want to get AIDS from "fucking the skank whores I meet on Facebook" so another kid said, "Wear a trashbag." and he was talking about a condom...and I got real depressed like Holden Caulfield because my back hurts and every time I put on a condom from now until I'm permanently impotent I'm going to remember that comment and my cock will go from erect to a dangling empty balloon in two seconds. And the woman will ask what's wrong and I will have to lie in order to avoid telling this story.

Syria Issues Travel Advisory Warning For United States

The embattled Syrian Department of State, operating from a concrete bunker 50 feet below the war torn city of Damascus, has raised the travel advisory status for The United States to it's highest Warning level, indicating the lack of basic security. The official status change was announced in a press release through one of the two remaining media outlets in the crumbling country.

"The security situation in the country of America, otherwise known as The United States, has deteriorated from questionable to alarming. The cold blooded murder of infants in baby carriages, dismemberment, cannibalism, the prolific random gun violence, the dishonest, secretive, and despotic government, the failing economy and the blatantly pornographic mainstream media has now forced the Syrian State Department to warn any victims of the current Syrian conflict to avoid seeking refuge in America."

Laughing At Myself

It even has a picture of me living in my van so no one gets confused

This bumper sticker is going in the van to remind me that fabricated property value shall not lure me like a fish to the hook. I was more creative when I lived full time in the van because I had nothing to lose. I had no pride. All that mattered was the next gag. Now I'm a company man looking for easy laughs. Sad

A Good Man Gone To Waste

This song is called "I Never Go Around Mirrors"

It's a good day when I discover an artist from the '50s who has dozens of perfect 2 minute songs about heartache and drinking in sawdust-floor bars. Lefty Frizzell (how is that pronounced?) understood the nature of Honky Tonk music: simple, singable, short, low budget, timeless. These songs are 60 years old and if someone rerecorded every one of them today only old country fans would know it.
I'm trying to collect all the western swing songs that I like into a fakebook arrangement book that I can carry around and copy and give to all the house bands that I meet. One of the songs is "Old old man tryin' to live while I can" It's a perfect song for the grey hair crowd I knew in La Paz. Merle Haggard recorded it and I was looking into who wrote it and I think Lefty Frizzell did while he was still young (he died aged 47). And then I learned he recorded it and enough songs for a 10 disc box set...all of them priceless tunes in the style of Patsy Cline and Hank Williams Sr.

While Hank Williams and Hank Thompson and Bob Wills are members of the Western Swing elite, for some reason Frizzell never entered my radar. Probably because this is a recent fetish for me. One thing I will note that others have said before me, Frizzell's recordings are amazing because he manages to sing the word "lie" with about 4 syllables. You go listen to his recordings and you'll see what I mean. Everything is sung in slow motion like it's all one long word. But it's all in my range.