Home Sweet Home

This songbook is music history

This is a famous song for being the closing song in the WLS Barn Dance out of Chicago back in 1934 when radio programs were authentic and fostered talent and good values. Everything today is poisoned by consumerism and I'll spare you my mandatory lecture outlining the Fall of Man. This is in the piano friendly key of F major.

" 'Mid pleasures and palaces tho' we may roam,
be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."

John Howard Payne wrote the lyrics in 1823 but the melody is an old Italian folk song. Payne lived a meteoric life that even dear old Oggy can not match. He acted in NY and London and then went off on a complete tangent as a kind of pacific representative of the doomed and embattled Cherokee Indian of the Southeast, and if that wasn't odd enough, he then became the American Consul to Tunis, Tunisia...because that's what happens when you write good lyrics...you become an American ambassador in Africa.

A toast to a man who had more than one life to live.

Default Living

As I flush a few more of my previous values down the toilet I inch closer to the level of revolting apathy I tried to avoid my whole life. Throwing away food, aluminum, wasting gas, frivolous shopping, all the things I was repulsed by are my life now...so I sort of blend in. I don't fit, obviously, because I'm arthritic and skeletal from chronic pain, but I blend in a little better. I mistakenly bought fruit juice instead of beer the other day and immediately felt the old shame of failure to belong, to not go along with the majority. So I bought a nice 25 oz Hurricane Category Five and spilled it all over the dinner table during a failed magic trick and everyone laughed and felt better that I was not an outcast, but inside I was ashamed and upset. When women are trained to act like Soap Opera characters with stripper alter egos to get the attention of men and that particular approach repulses me then I'd say I'm pretty much doomed. Culturally....I don't want to ...who gives a fuck?

Two week Brake Report

One wheel every two weeks means the job is going to take two months.

Fighting back against the rocks

two pictures

Boyfriend: Ok, Let's Talk About Period Related Bloating

Area boyfriend, Tom Singleton, announced to his menstruating girlfriend, "Ok, sure, let's talk about your period related bloating. Definitely!"
Julie Adams, his girlfriend, was startled as this topic generally fell into the realm of off limits or at best something that she could speak out loud about but not get a single indication Tom was listening. Today, however, Tom surprised Julie by announcing he "really wants to learn the details of how the bloating affects her mood and physical well-being."
"Specifically, Julie," continued Tom putting his magazine down and making direct and concerned eye contact with his girlfriend of one year, "I want to know exactly what the symptoms are, every detail, I want to know if you are cramping and where those cramps occur. I want to know if you are constipated, bleeding more or less than your normal period, if your breasts are tender, if you are retaining water, if you are grouchy and irritable, and if you don't feel like having sex right now but will probably be all over me in ten minutes. Whenever you're ready to talk, I will listen."
Tom crossed his legs and relaxed into a position that would indicate he was willing to take as long as possible to understand what his girlfriend was going through.
"Walk me through it step by step," said Tom. "You say you are bloating but that's kind of vague. Please elaborate. Where do you feel the bloating exactly, is it in your stomach or your spasming  uterus? Can you describe your feelings in terms I'll understand? Do you feel nauseous?  Are you vomiting? Light headed? Are you undergarments fitting tighter than usual and does that make you feel fat? And does your feeling fat lead you into a cycle of depression and self-loathing because you have linked your mood to your weight and body image?"
Tom asked Julie if she wanted a cup of green tea of how hot she wanted the bath water he would shortly run for her.
"Are you gassy?" he asked casually. "If you are gassy then maybe you'll want some licorice tea. I could call your mother and ask her what's the best remedy for gassy, bloated, period related discomfort. Are your feet swollen or is that only with pregnant or lactating women? There's so much to learn and I'm so happy to have you here to explain everything related to periods and the troubles they cause you. Wherever you want to begin will be fine with me. I've got all night."
At press time Julie wasn't speaking to Tom anymore.