Monday, September 24, 2012

Super Powers


The morning begins at 5:50 when the Kansas City coal train shatters the calm with its horn as it crosses the NPID access road. Oggy rolls out of bed in much less pain and discomfort than when he suffered with his head in a corner and his feet on the wood stove. He stretches his scar tissue out and massages his fingers in the Chi Gong healing tradition. Oggy is not healthy in the traditional sense but his priorities technically include mental and physical health since his grandfather insisted that health was the only thing that matters. Stretching is the only health regime that Oggy needs to follow since his day is generally 11 consecutive hours of grueling physical labor. That is when his Super Power Underoos come in handy.From 6 am onward the day is total chaos.

Italian American Moped

Foxconn Riot

This is where I would write an essay correlating the recent foxconn riot to the global demand for digital products and how it is out of touch with human behavior. We want 3D cinemas inside air conditioned battle ships and so we sacrifice Asian peasants whose land was flooded to feed a hydroelectric plant that will provide power to the factory where the peasant now works making 3D projectors. And they are supposed to be gracious they were given the opportunity to assemble digital products, something I've only known maybe three or four Americans to actually do full time and they all had their souls reduced to lithium but do not hesitate to fund the industry that suffocates and destroys Asian lives.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Open For Business

The oil pick up tube moments before Oggy blocks it off with gasket material.
 The sound of aluminum doors opening in the Texas morning is one of those sounds that will stay with me like the horrible sound of someone banging on my door reminds me of emergencies in the Merchant Marines when I was needed on deck during my 6 hours of sleep time. I'd wake up half asleep and stumble into total chaos of a deck piled with gear and pipes and rain and huge waves washing sharks onto our feet and I'd reach for my gloves and hit my head against something heavy and steel and I'd be awake and angry while literally 45 seconds earlier I'd been asleep and at peace. The aluminum doors make an unpleasant sound.

Rookie Mistakes

In Mechanic Years I am a newborn. Working on individual cars such as my van and the grand marquis and a saab here and there really means I own the tools to work on cars but the skills will be sporadic. It's a dirty job made more dirty by lack of training and flawed procedure. I proudly made my own gasket for the oil pick up tube and installed it to torque spec but after installing the engine and nearly finishing the whole reassembly I looked at the gasket material and thought, "Did I cut a hole in the middle?" And I knew 99% sure that I had totally fit the gasket on there and trimmed it and then bolted the pick up tube to the engine galley without actually cutting a hole in the middle so the pick up tube could act as a tube. Essentially I had put a gasket on in order to ensure no oil returned to lubricate the pistons and connecting rods, ensuring engine failure and death in maybe 40 miles. This is why I like buying real parts but they insisted any gasket material would do. But just be sure to make the gasket look like the stock gasket and not a piece of felt covering the hole. Oh, the hours I just spent in dirty oil bonding with this 1999 Pontiac Firebird.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Caldo de Pollo

To celebrate the fact me and J.R. ( my mechanic partner) got the engine out of the Firebird I rode the moped to El Mexicano where the menu was a classic gradient style of orange and yellow. The waitress spoke English to me but Spanish to everyone else. Caldo was on the specials menu and since I'm not made of money I ordered it with Fanta. This chicken soup comes with chicken on the bone and I made the party at the next table grimace in disgust and revulsion as I devoured the chicken bones like a starving street dog. The music was Shakira and Los Tigres Del Norte. There was no Jarritos nor a salsa bar with serve yourself grilled jalapenos which is my favorite, but the food was good with bonus tortilla chips that made me reminisce about the fried wantons at the Chinese restaurants where my ill mannered behavior was enough to make the old owner give me the evil eye.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.