Czechmate

Computer level is set to 4 of 10...so I beat a teenager who is watching T.V. while playing chess.

I want you to note how few pieces I had left on the board to pull off this mate.

In other news I overfilled the gear box of the Jawa and it still ran like a wounded Czech soldier...and the fuel ratio was wrong...it smoked like a clogged Russian chimney but otherwise it might be useful.
Jawa mopeds use 30w motor oil in the crankcase (Vespa Ciao mopeds only use 90w gear oil in the rear hub) but not full up like a motorcycle or car since the cylinder is laying parallel with the ground...only fill it to where it leaks out of an inspection hole. I saw it leaking and thought something was wrong so I screwed a bolt in there and kept filling like an amateur. I basically flooded the cylinder with oil...and it still ran. Now I have it figured out and I'm amazed it still ran while burning tons of oil...gear oil no less. Probably good for breaking in the new rings I bought from Prague. You should have seen the pack of dogs chasing me and my Czech moped down the street like they could smell the decay of Communism on my fenders...

Keys to Failure

Headlines in the San Antonio newspaper are two oil related articles. Energy is the blood of Texas. Energy. Oil. Natural Gas. Water. Wind. Solar. Energy. I can't emphasize that enough. Those M.I.T. grads aren't bicycling to their electronic engineering jobs so someone has to get the gasoline to them. As I've said, the environmental movement is no match for the determination of the energy industry to find every drop of oil. Classic example is the Keystone Pipeline project that would cross the continent from Canada to Texas so a refinery doesn't have to be built in Alberta. So the pipeline is delayed because of concerns about the risks...and do you really think the energy folks are sitting on their hands waiting for someone to tell them what they can do? And unless you live in Texas this issue probably doesn't matter to you.

But the two sides of the debate are real simple:
1) I need the oil/job in Texas so let's build the pipeline.
2) Exploitation of the tar sands guarantees the end of civilization.

Man Eats Bunny

If you think this is bad you should see the rat I caught in my closet last night

Grateful Dead vocal harmonies plummeted from the car speakers dangling overhead the River Street Shelter’s aluminum roof, drops of condensation clung to the rusting cover screws. The notes dive-bombed the shivering audience like angry sparrows protecting their nest, but instead of protecting themselves the bleak children of the street peeked their noses from the damp blankets to find nourishment and motivation in the throbbing rites of spring. Now steel pan drums, no flute, now a set of hand drums, Spanish guitar…there were no rules and that’s how the fans liked it. Kerouac’s cool jazz dreams became a waking nightmare in the hectic poly-rhythms of the band from San Francisco. Why not two or three songs played at the same time?…better to stimulate the new generation. The groove locked a women’s hips into a grinding sway, impossible to ignore, every note attaching itself sympathetically to a vertebrae or pelvic component so that she was thrusting herself upon the air, fucking the distant voices with her own corporeal vibrations.

Some knew the words and these apostles of the faith sang them softly to the ghosts of lost lovers whose phone numbers written on wet skin dissolved metaphorically by morning as the sun burned off the fog and the wet blankets in the forest began to rise and fall with casual lover’s salutations. The feeling of brief intimacy and importance, the impression that this was important, these naked bodies in the forest, these tribal warriors all meeting before the stage returning with the blues melody, “Born in the desert… raised in a lion’s den.”

Oggy had broken ranks with the sheltered hoards and climbed on top of the bus lockers following Bella’s manic outburst the previous evening.

Oggy’s begging appeal, “I’m in so much pain…stop hitting me…” had done nothing to sway Bella’s attack. Her fury had been unstoppable, only Oggy’s adoption of Gandhi’s Satyagraha philosophy would justify his lack of defense or counterattack. Finally he had limped into the rain with his one remaining redwood branch crutch (Bella had broken the other) crackling on the gravel. At first the gate guard had refused to let him out, citing the rules and regulations of the lockdown camp, but seeing Oggy’s determination to climb the barbedwire fence to free himself and the potential to comfort Bella now that Oggy was gone, the guard had unlocked the gate, reiterating the policy that once out, Oggy was out for the evening. Oggy had not responded but had used his crutches to retrieve a milk crate to use as a step to climb on the bus lockers. In the dark and in his confusion at being pulverized by his girlfriend he inadvertently bumped against one of the men who slept on the bus lockers regularly. There were shouts and apologies followed by Oggy locating an open area and hauling his bones to the top between two concrete pillars. Of course the reason that area was empty was because there was a leak in the aluminum roof, but Oggy solved that with a flap of cardboard that diverted the leak to one side. Then he curled himself inside the shrink wrap tarp and moaned until he fell asleep. That was how Kim found him three days later.

Citizens Bank Can Go Fuck Themselves

The phone rings....
Oggy (with mouth full of Spaghetti): Yep?
Recovery Agent (pleasant female): Good evening, Mr. Bleacher?
Oggy: I hope so, cause I'm wearing his dirty boxer shorts...
R.A.: I'd like to talk to you about your Citizens Bank Checking Account.
Oggy: What account? I have no money in there.
R.A: Be advised that this call may be recorded...
Oggy: Well, that makes two of us.
R.A.: Right now we're showing a negative balance of $111.97. When would you like to make a payment?
Oggy: Last I checked I had a negative balance of $2.09.
R.A. There have been service charges due to a negative balance.
Oggy: You charged me $109 to borrow $2?
R.A. You stopped payment on a $200 check.
Oggy: OF COURSE I STOPPED PAYMENT. YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE HALF OF IT AS PREDATORY FEES FOR THE ORIGINAL TWO DOLLARS!*
R.A. So when would you...
Oggy: I WILL NEVER PAY THOSE FINES OFF. I WILL NEVER EVER PAY YOU.
R.A. You should be advised that this will be forwarded to our claims department...
Oggy: You bastards misled me, you lied, you changed my contract, you signed me up for the overdraft account bullshit...
R.A. You were advised to opt out of th....
Oggy: IF YOU KNEW EVEN A FRACTION OF THE SHIT I WAS GOING THROUGH LAST YEAR YOU WOULD KNOW THAT OPTING OUT OF YOUR BULLSHIT OVERDRAFT PROTECTION WAS THE LAST FUCKING THING ON MY MIND. I SLAVE ALL DAY LONG IN A CZECHOSLOVAKIAN MOPED FACTORY AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET? Really?
R.A: As of today we are showing a negative balance of...
Oggy: I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. I EVEN WROTE IT DOWN ON MY CALENDAR WITH ARROWS AND UNDERLINES SAYING "NEVER PAY THIS"
R.A. Mr. Bleacher....
Oggy: It really vexes me that this is how we should meet. It vexes and irks and perplexes and hurts and causes me great anguish. You have a nice voice. It's pleasing. I almost want to pay you so you will show me some affection because I am lonely and sad. I see why they hired you. But they are vultures. If you...
R.A." Mr...Bleacher...

A La Plancha

Jawa Decompression Cable Bracket

I don't know if there is a philosophical correlation between these two topics but if there was it would be "no frills" or "Honest"
Mopeds use a feature called a decompression cable to release compression in the single cylinder so when you are pedaling to start the thing up it is easier since you aren't fighting against the compression of the engine. Then you release the lever and it compresses the cylinder at exactly the moment of ignition and you might start the engine... We managed to lose track of the simple metal bracket that holds the cable housing so when you move the lever only the cable moves and that engages the valve on the cylinder. I put the word out to my moped forum friends and came up empty. The Jawa is not a bike anyone knows much about.  But we found the bracket and I can sleep. It's not essential to start the thing but it's essential for all the parts of the universe to be aligned again in my anxious brain.