Area Dog Happy To Spend Extra Hour With Owner Every Sunday

Rascal, a three year old fixed Spaniel reported feelings of elation this past Sunday.
"On average I get to spend thirty minutes a day with [owner] Ted," said Rascal as he alternately licked his anus and penis sheath. "But on Sunday he takes me to the dog park and when the weather is nice we go to the beach. That can add an extra hour to our time together and I really cherish it."
Resigned to spend the majority of his time on earth sleeping or awaiting a meal or snack, Rascal has few complaints.
"The food issue is always a concern," said Rascal gesturing his muzzle toward an aluminum bowl marked Dog. "For two years I've had basically the exact same portion of the exact same dry, detestable corn and salt flavored pellets. Whoever invented that stuff definitely wasn't a dog. But," continued Rascal, "what are you gonna do? Ted literally and figuratively throws me a bone once in a while but...you know. I was taken from my mother when I was a month old. I never knew my father or my eleven siblings. They could be dead for all I know. Am I gonna bitch all day? Nope. I eat it, keep my mouth shut and wait for Sunday. That one incident with the cat next door has been cleared up. We're all good."
Rascal's owner scratched him behind the ears and Rascal pawed the air in joy.
"That's the stuff," said Rascal. "This is heaven. Sundays are the best!"