Monday, August 20, 2012

How Oggy Survives

A reader asks, "How do you stay clean cut and presentable for your job at the trailer park?"
 This is a good question. Normally, I let nature take its course and pay no attention to facial hair or body odor. Metrosexuality is one thing I am opposed to like Chick Fil A is opposed to gays. God may hate fags but Oggy hates body image manipulation and metrosexuality, or the grooming of oneself to meet standards created by board room crack junkies who suck lipstick manufacturer's cocks and get fucked by shampoo CEOs, is abhorrent.
The whole body image manipulation that has women jumping through hoops to hate their bodies absolutely enrages me and has caused me grief for two decades, since I actually started to pay attention to the pain women feel at failing to conform to Katie Holmes' 21 year old figure. Why there is not daily terrorist attacks on glamor magazine headquarters is baffling to me. How a woman can know the kind of abuse she is subjected to and still consider raising a daughter into the same environment is evidence that the maternal instinct itself can be suppressed by good propaganda. If you raise a daughter in America you might as well schedule her self esteem for a corporate gang rape around 7 years old. There is no justification from freedom of speech to George Washington's blood written on the back of Thomas Jefferson pimpled ass that anything goes when it comes to body image. I'm repulsed by gossip and glamor magazine heresy and would like to kick the entire staff of Mademoiselle in the ass. I spent at least 11 years with a full wooly mammoth beard as a protest against arbitrary grooming, not to mention the resources squandered in plastic and metal to make my face look like I'm an 11 year old pedophile pinup. It's total bullshit and I knew it then and I know it now but society has folded over completely and bows not to a priest or Imam or religious guide, as many societies do (and ours hypocritically does in some realms but not others) but to THE TOTALLY PROFIT MOTIVATED COSMETIC INDUSTRY.

AXE BODY SPRAY WILL HELP YOU GET FUCKED
OUR BLUSH MAKES YOUR CHEEKS LOOK LIKE YOU JUST GOT FUCKED
OUR PERFUME HIDES THE SMELL OF YOUR CUNT
SHAVE YOUR FACE AND COLOR YOUR GRAY HAIR BECAUSE AGED PEOPLE ARE GROSS

I'm so disgusted by it all and even more disgusted by how poisoned the well of self respect is that no one gives a fuck. I've been banned from two Walmarts for arguing with the security guards when I tried to move all the gossip magazines from the checkout aisle to the magazine section. They called it "Mischief" and I told them it was not mischief that a ten year old girl would be subjected to Kortney cunt kardashian's cellulite pics and her fat fucking tits. That's pure abuse and Walmart was an accomplice and I was trying like Holden Caulfield to erase the swear words. NOT EVERYONE IS LIKE PHOEBE! Some people take these things to heart and cry to their boyfriend that their pants don't fit or their ass is too big and it's deadly serious. Not Mischief! But I'm the asshole and now I can't go back to those Walmarts for their $4 dry-as-dust chicken leg lunch special with fried Okra.

Ponderous.
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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.