Sunday, October 16, 2011

Am I Ready for 2?

I'll be using a variety of resources to determine my emotional age. If anyone has a better yardstick then let me know. Here's a site that has this to say...*
I want to direct your attention to the bottom of this post where a poll will allow you to pinpoint this important opinion.
"And while your child is fiercely proud of her emerging independence, at other times she's still a baby, making your job one of juggling multiple personalities."

This sounds very familiar.

"Cognitive development

Talking milestone


What to expect your child to achieve by the end of the year:

  • Can point to an object or picture when it's named by someone else
  • Understands names of familiar objects, body parts, and people
  • Can talk in two- to four-word sentences"
Unless I've had too many White Russian cocktails, I think I can do all these things which actually leads me to decide I should only concentrate on emotional milestones and not cognitive ones. So here they are...

Social and emotional development

Separation and independence milestone

What to expect your child to achieve by the end of the year:
  1. Demonstrates a desire for independence — she may insist on wearing her purple pajamas five nights in a row
  2. Begins to show defiant behavior to test her limits (coloring on the walls, for example, even if you tell her not to)
  3. Decreases separation anxiety


I'm confused already. Is this a list of what to expect from a normal two year old? Or is this what to expect when everything is going horribly wrong...like for most parents? Let's take them in order.

  1. I demonstrate a desire for independence. In fact, I've worn my purple pants for the last 5 days. How odd. Maybe purple pants is a two year old fetish.
  2. One only needs to look at my recent border crossing for defiant behavior. So, I guess I pass that one. Or did I fail? Is defiance expected of 2 year old girls but 40 year old men should conform and comply obediently like McDonalds drones?
  3. Separation Anxiety. Uh-oh. It doesn't say the two year old has conquered separation anxiety. So, I think emotionally I'm at least a below average two year old.
What do you think?

Bonus Question: Toilet training milestone

  • Able to hold urine for three hours or more
 I barely pass this test as I must piss more often than I like to admit now that my prostate and sphincter have applied for early retirement.
 *This article makes me think of a funny parody, "What to expect from your 40 year old." hahaha

Oggy's Emotional Age

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Man in the Van by Oggy Bleacher is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.