Oggy Bleacher sent you: Driving directions to Portsmouth, NH

The sign said "Closed Wet Paint" but I walked up the Stratham fire tower anyway and got paint on my jacket, disco shirt, worn shoes, broken hands and tattered gloves. Here I am looking for my common sense.

The chicken farmer and his pace dogs leaning into a curve. He has no idea how loose those front wheel axle nuts are.

1974 Vespa Ciao

Oggy is a safe rider.

I had my doubts about riding back to Portsmouth from Nottingham on the moped but they were warrant-less as I made it with fuel to spare and before the rain. I am organizing a canoe trip into the Great Bay via the Newfields boat lanch. Let's go kill some ducks.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Oggy Bleacher
Date: Thu, Nov 10, 2011 at 4:52 PM
Subject: Sent via Google Maps: Oggy Bleacher sent you: Driving directions to Portsmouth, NH
To: asshole@gmail.com

route

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Nottingham, NH

1.	Head southeast on NH-152 E/Stage Rd toward Church St Continue to follow NH-152 E	9.5 mi
2.	Turn right onto NH-108 S/Exeter St Continue to follow NH-108 S	3.2 mi
3.	Slight left onto Squamscott Rd	1.1 mi
4.	Turn left onto NH-33 E/Portsmouth Ave Continue to follow NH-33 E	6.8 mi
5.	Slight left onto Islington St	1.7 mi
6.	Turn right onto Summer St	0.2 mi

Portsmouth, NH

Personhood and Assholes

When does life begin? There's been some debate about this in Mississippi recently and I want to see what y'all's opinion is. I'm thinking that there are 7 billion people and if women don't want to have babies then they can do what it takes not to have the baby and whether a fetus is called "life" or not is irrelevant, except in terms of how fundamentalist crackpots can further punish and dominate women. You might as well make being an asshole a crime.
What is your opinion?

When Does Someone Become An Asshole?

I've met a few women and they are generally stubborn to the point of insanity so if they don't want to have a baby then they'll sooner kill themselves than give you the pleasure of dictating their reproductive choices and where will that leave us? On the flip side, if a woman wants to have a baby then you should lock your balls in a bank vault if you don't want to be the father. Furthermore; Save the Fetus, Starve the Child mentalities aren't doing anyone any good. What do I know, I'm only two years old.

Let's have another poll so you can express yourselves anonymously.

When Does Life Begin?

Moped Mania

Even the Memorial Bridge is trying to tell me something.

Dr. Oggystein at work in his laboratory.  Note the healthy salad in the foreground.

 Naval Shipyard at Night. I could get a job there but I'm like a born-again farmer looking for evidence that people still eat food that comes from the ground.

Step 1) Get the drill gun. Chicken Man gets thanks for buying me a dry turkey sandwich at Marcos on route 33, taking me up a hill that I couldn't get down. HE said I needed exercise because I'd been in my van for three straight days but I ended up on my side in a  mud puddle with a moped wheel spinning on my shin and my nose full of thorns while my cathedral shirt caught on fire from the exhaust pipe. And I got a hernia. Is that exercise? He provided the materials to build my $2 moped legal upgrade. I didn't need to get legal with the moped but I really wanted the license plate for some reason. It legitimizes my insanity. And I also get a moped endorsement on my driver's license. All for $3 a year. It pays to be eccentric, you loser SUV drivers.

Randomly, the lady I flirted with at the DMV reached into her dusty moped license drawer and pulled out one with lucky numbers...Bleacher. It doesn't say "Live Free Or Die" because moped riders are obviously about to do both.

Dominicana Salvatorio Comedia

I downloaded a piece of software called "Freemake Video Converter" and this allows me to convert and edit the dreaded .mov files that my trusty Kodak camera films in. See, I have two cameras that enable the video entertainment you watch and enjoy every day.
#1 is a cheap kodak camera I bought in 2005. The video is captured in .mov format which can't be edited on my pc. The majority of the short clips with no editing are from this camera.
#2 is a JVC minidv camera that captures to tape that then must be captured to my computer via firewire and edited into a movie file and saved and then uploaded. I can edit that stuff all day long but on my 2002 laptop computer it takes literally 7-10 hours to capture, edit, and save and upload a 5 minute video. So I prefer to video things spontaneously with the kodak and skip the editing. This feeds my need to improvise entertainment because I know I can't edit it. (this camera is ruined and I need $1500 for a new one and until that happens I can't capture all my arctic wolf footage and edit it.)

This video of me and the chicken farmer calling tech support for his Nikon camera's pink screen problem is an example of what goes wrong with the kodak film crew. We filmed 15 minutes of video that I can't edit...until now. With this software I can now spend 5 hours editing that video in half and then saving it and then uploading it. And I can convert the video to other formats so I can edit it freely. That's a bonus. Of course this video is only funny for 30 seconds so I made a mistake of filling google storage banks with unnecessary amounts of data.

Goofy

My pranks are getting more serious. The arctic wolf quest was a stepping stone to DMV identity tampering as I went out and got my lip and nose pierced specifically for the dmv photo as well as wearing my Silk Shirt from India and gypsy necklaces. I looked like a hungover Los Angeles Rock Star who got lost on the way to Hampton Beach.

 

I can't wait to get the color license in the mail. It 'looks like one eye is looking up and the other eye is looking down. Why That?